Irresistible Influence Through: Ordinary Attempts

What do you mean, a person of irresistible influence?

A person of irresistible influence is someone who's day to day choices, actions, & attitude magnetically draw people to them. "I want to be more like that person...what makes them different?" What are Ordinary Attempts? Simply put, "ordinary attempts" are relational acts of kindness...or free-attention giveaways. God uses ordinary people to be irresistibly influential, in ordinary moments, in extraordinary ways. Ordinary attempts are simple acts of outreach; they are living evidence of a loving God.

Think small...you don't have to change the world; just change one small thing.
Start close...begin with the people in your closest circle; your family, close friends, co-workers.
Do what's doable...it's all you're going to do anyway; don't get bogged down in big plans or ideals.
Be yourself...it will intrigue people; being "real" invites others to do the same.

Here is a five-week challenge that will help you get on your way to being a person of irresistible Influence."

Week One Challenge:

Ask someone "How are you?"...and actually listen.
Pray for someone "behind their back".
Listen to almost anyone, and you've given an enormous gift.
Say "Wow"...make a big deal out of small stuff; simple encouragement can be a powerful gift.
Hold the door open for someone.
Smile and give a heartfelt "thank you" or "have a great day" to someone serving you: grocery checker, waiter, cashier, bank teller.
Let one car, or several, into the flow of traffic ahead of you.
Hug each family member or close friend when you see them for the first time each day.
Over-tip your server, even if you had a complaint, or they are having a bad day.
Pause to say hello to your neighbor, especially the one you've never spoken to before.
Smile and wave at the drivers you pass in your neighborhood.

Choose one or two of the ideas above and commit to doing them EACH day this week! You will be amazed at how quickly your influence can become irresistible to the people around you when you simply give them brief moments of your ATTENTION.

"Arise, shine; for your light has come! And the glory of the Lord is risen upon you. For behold, the darkness shall cover the earth, and deep darkness the people; but the Lord will rise over you, and His glory will be seen upon you." Isaiah 60:1-2

Week Two Challenge:

As you strive to become irresistibly influential this week, our "ordinary attempt" challenge is to ASK a question and truly LISTEN. The purpose of this small act-of-attention is to CARE. Here are some practical ideas to help you in that endeavor. Ask:

Choose an acquaintance, someone with whom you have regular (at least once a week) encounters; coffee shop attendant, grocery clerk, co-worker, teacher, neighbor.
Intentionally approach them and ask a simple question like, "Has it been busy day for you?"
Ask follow up questions, "What happened next?" or "What did you do then?" - if you don't know how to respond, simply say, "Wow."

Listen:

Nod, smile, lean forward and use body language to communicate interest and attention.
Pretend that you are being paid by the minute to listen!
When they respond, be sure to listen and don't interrupt with your own story.

Care:

Resist the urge to preach, advise, solve problems, over-spiritualize, or steer the conversation.
Commit something they've said to memory, so you can re-visit that topic in a subsequent interaction.
Show that you care with statements of empathy and compassion, "Gosh, that must have been hard?"

Jesus set up most of His interactions with questions. Yet, many of us lack the skill and confidence for asking questions; we don't want to be "nosy" and often the result is isolation and apathy. This is the time for asking God's Spirit to empower us and use our efforts. Learning to care isn't a short-term program; it is a skill that must be practiced, and can potentially impact every area of your life and relationships. Plan ahead for at least 2 to 3 minutes invested DAILY in this process...more as you grow in this skill!

"Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds." Hebrews 10:24

Week Three Challenge:

For the past two weeks, your irresistible influence has grown through the "ordinary attempts" of giving attention, asking questions and listening. This week your challenge is to take that attention and care a step further, as you practice consistent PRAYER for the acquaintance, neighbor or friend you have been focusing your attention on.

Pray behind their back:

Praying for someone behind their back is an active way to care, without preaching or attempting to problem-solve.
Practice 15 second prayers for this person, spread throughout your day. Use consistent reminders, i.e.: pray at every red light, or when on hold at work, or during every commercial break, or before every meal.

Pray in front of them:

As you continue to interact with this person (remember ASK and LISTEN) simply let them know that you will be praying for them - for a struggle, hope, or just busyness.
It is a good idea to keep your statement of prayer simple, "I'll be sure to pray about that this week." Avoid disguising religious talk or preaching with your intentions of prayer.

Blame your success on prayer:

When things go well for your new friend, remind them that you've been praying for them!
You will notice an increase in coincidences; give God the credit. Share these experiences and successes with others!

In this modern era we cannot count on religious arguments to win others to Christ; people don't want to be conquered or even convinced. They want friends. They want to make a connection. Praying for others also increases our development of empathy and compassion, and forces us out of our self-centered tendencies. Remember, this isn't a short-term program...it's a practice, that can potentially transform your life and the lives of others!

"Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love...continuing steadfastly in prayer..."

Week Four Challenge:

You are now in week 4 of your practice to become a person of irresistible influence through "ordinary attempts." You began by focusing on simply giving attention, then learning to ask questions and truly listen and care. Last week you began the intentional and consistent practice of prayer for our acquaintance or new friend. This week your challenge is to begin active outreach; to engage that friend in fellowship, shared activities, and relationship. Engage them in fellowship:

Continue in conversation with them, in an ongoing dialogue about issues they have expressed interest in.
Begin to inquire more about their hobbies, family and other interests. The point is to become genuinely interested!

Invite them to an event:

Look for opportunities to invite them to activities of shared interest; a sporting event, craft fair, kid's ball game.
Invite them to a "neutral" church event! An upcoming holiday service, or family/kids special program.

Grow a relationship:

As you begin to develop shared interests and activities, you are growing a bona-fide connection with this person.
Resist the urge to over-spiritualize or preach!

If it feels like you are spinning your wheels trying to nudge your friend toward Jesus, slow down, relax, and simply be yourself. You might find yourself getting more traction in their lives than before. Your example, your outreach and kindness and attention, will speak more loudly of Jesus' love than any "preachy" words you utter! "It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching." - attributed to St. Francis of Assisi

"If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!"

Week Five Challenge:

After 4 weeks of striving to have irresistible influence through "ordinary attempts" you've discovered new connections with new people. In the ordinary day-to-day process of giving attention, listening, and engaging you gain relationship. In relationship there is trust, and freedom to offer YOUR story of Christ's presence in your lives. This week you will attempt to move attention from small-talk to spiritual things.

Keep it simple:

As the opportunity arises, toss out a simple, personal story of something significant Christ has done in your life.
Begin to ask deeper questions:

What does being spiritual mean to you?
What's the best spiritual advice you've received?
Do you have a friend who's faith you admire?
Do you think its possible to encounter God in a personal way?
What about God do you hope is true?
Have you ever experienced a miracle?

Avoid preaching:

It's not necessary to preach the gospel to your new friend; simply "salting" your conversations with mentions of Jesus' goodness will create thirst!
Resist the urge to attribute what Christ has done in your life to a "one-size-fits-all" solution. Remember, Jesus reaches each of us in unique ways, right where we are! Just offer enticement via your unique story of His love in your life.

Trust God to complete the work:

Asking a person to believe isn't always appropriate, and it may be too early to present your full-blown personal testimony. Yet we can be confident that God's Spirit will guide our ordinary moments if we are willing and available!

"The Holy Spirit will teach you at that time what to say."

Don't feel like you have to force them into a decision. It's okay to leave an open-ended question unresolved. Allow them space and time to process what God is doing. Trust God to invite them and use you in whatever way He desires.
Remember, this is not a short-term program. Instead, you are practicing for the long-haul; simple, memorable actions that can be done by ordinary people in ordinary life. You are taking baby-steps toward reaching out to a hurting world with the healing love and hope of Christ. Let us not grow weary in well-doing!

"Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone."